A Wild Jackass Appears
by Lee Atwater
Summary: Cass gets slightly more than she bargained for when she drunkenly kicks down the wrong door the night after the Second Battle of Hoover Dam. Written for the Fallout KinkMeme.


"Alex!" I yelled, jiggling on his door handle. "Alex! Courier! Savior of the Wasteland! Open the goddamn door! It's me, Cass!" No response. He must be sleeping off the one glass of wine he'd allowed himself to celebrate the NCR's victory at Hoover Dam. "We're under deathclaw attack! The Chinese have nuked us again! Jesus has risen!" Still no answer. Rolling my eyes, I kicked the door twice until the flimsy pre-war lock broke. Standing over the prone figure in the queen-sized bed, clutching a three-quarters empty bottle of vodka in my hand, I launched into the speech I'd been preparing for the last hour.

"Alex, it's Cass, and I've got something to say to you. We've just beaten, of all people, Caesar's Fucking Legion, the biggest gang of assholes in the southwest. We are the heroes of the hour. This dam is filled with happy, drunk, horny soldier dudes. I am also happy, drunk, and _extremely_ horny. We have been traveling together for almost a year, and I have not once attempted to jump your bones, you goddamn pious Mormon son of a bitch. This is my one and only pitch to you. Get out of bed, take off that ridiculous underwear I've heard you people wear, and I'm going to fuck you like we just won a war, because we just did. Or I'm going to find someone who wants to, and you can get back to your Bible studies and warm milk, and I'll never bother you again."

The figure in the bed mumbled something and rolled over.

I took a few steps closer, setting the vodka down on the floor as I walked closer to Alex. "What's that? Can't hear a word you said."

In an instant, an arm shot out of the bed and dragged me under the covers, wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me into his grasp, his chest to my back. Now, that was more like it. Warm body, nice biceps, smooth jawline –

Wait. Alex has a beard.

I tried to pull away, but the figure in the bed held fast, fingers biting into my waist. "Wrong room, woman," hissed the man, in a voice that I couldn't quite place beneath so many vodka sours but definitely reminded me of Very Bad Things.

"Then who the fuck are you?" I tried to squirm away, and stopped when I felt a knife at my throat.

"How did you put it so charmingly a minute ago? Ah, yes. A member of the biggest gang of assholes in the southwest."

Oh, for God's sake. A dam full of NCR soldiers and I had to kick down the door of some Legion fuckhead. Thankfully, none of them were too bright. Shouldn't be too hard to talk my way out of this one.

"Do you not remember me, Rose of Sharon Cassidy?" the legionary said. I knew the voice. Warm honey over gravel. Fuck me, it was one of the leaders. The spy, Vulpes something, the one who'd walked up to us on the Strip to give Alex the Mark of Caesar. I'd cast an appreciative eye in his direction, and Alex had given me a look. Later that night, he'd told me a very graphic story about what exactly he encountered shortly after meeting me at the Mojave Outpost, and I'd had to leave to go get sick in the alley behind the Lucky 38. Great situation you've gotten yourself into, Cassidy.

"Oh, doghead guy. Aren't you dead?" I asked conversationally, shifting away from the knife. "I thought Boone killed you today. He was pretty happy about it."

"There were a hundred soldiers out there today with vexillarius helmets and sunglasses. I had more important things to do than taking potshots at grunts. Suffice it to say, when things ended, I was stuck inside the Dam, thankfully wearing an NCR uniform. I had planned to slip out after a rest and make my way back to Flagstaff, but for you disturbing me."

"Well, now that that's all cleared up, I should probably be leaving," I said, with much more bravery than I felt. "Gotta go kick in some doors until I find the right guy. So if you'll just move that knife, I'll be on my way."

He laughed unpleasantly. "So you can scuttle back to Colonel Moore and tell her where I'm hiding? I don't think so. By the way, you're making a fool of yourself with that courier. I can assure you that he is utterly uninterested in what you're peddling. For a supposed Mormon, he has spent an extraordinarily large amount of time hanging out with your doctor friend at a suite in the Tops. Every other night, it seems."

What was he implying? Oh. _Oh._ Actually, that made a lot of sense. Good for Alex, then, and good for Arcade. Nice to see someone around here was probably getting some tonight. But back to more pressing concerns. "So … you going to cut my throat or what?" I asked. "'Cause if that's your plan, I gotta tell you, the NCR is going to be pretty fucking pissed about one of the heroes who won the Dam getting murdered right under their noses. I noticed lots of surveillance cameras in these hallways. They'll figure it out soon enough. Hope you've got a really fast ride back to Arizona."

The legionary guy paused for a moment, probably considering his options. "And what guarantee do I have that you won't immediately call down the wrath of the NCR if I let you out?"

"Er …" I pretty much had no collateral in this situation. "I promise, on my honor, not to turn you in?"

He chuckled. "As the person who was ordered to keep an eye on you and your friends for several excruciating months, I am fully aware that your so-called honor was probably traded long ago for a lap dance at Gomorrah, if it ever existed at all."

"Is that all everything's about with you people?" I snapped. "I might drink and fuck around, but I'm loyal to my friends, and that's what's important."

"I am loyal to Caesar," the Legion man said automatically.

"Really? 'Cause for someone who just lost a war, you don't exactly seem upset by it. I'd expect you guys to be falling on your swords and fighting to the last man, not taking a nap and then strolling back across the river whenever you feel like it." Vodka, this is Cass calling. Why are you taunting the murderous fuckhead with a knife to your throat? What did I ever do to you, vodka, other than drink way too much of you tonight?

"It's funny how you NCR types think that this is some great victory," he said. "We lost only a fraction of our army today. Caesar lives, Lucius lives, I live. The only man of importance who died here today was Lanius, who cared nothing for the Legion and its ideals."

I shifted slightly, trying to get enough distance between me and the knife to make a dash for the door while he continued. "Since Lanius openly despised me and would have had me killed if he ever came to power, forgive me if I don't shed many tears over his passing. There will be a new Legate, hopefully someone smarter. We control a huge chunk of the southwest, and we share a border with California. New Vegas was a distraction. Shady Sands is the prize. All this does is set us back a few years. Am I happy we lost? No, I am furious that we lost, particularly as it was due to the intervention of your gang of semi-competent morons with severe personal problems. But that does not change the end result."

"Fantastic," I said bitterly. "I really wanted to know your long-term strategy. That's exactly why I drunkenly kicked in this door tonight. The whole wanting a gay guy to fuck my brains out speech was just a clever ruse. So can we get to the part where you kill me, or let me go, or punish me, or what the fuck ever you want to do? Because after the past year, the last thing I want to do is listen to more yammering about politics. As far as I'm concerned, both sides can go eat a bag of dicks, 'cause I'm done with this shit. So kill me or let me go."

Another pause. "Who killed Legate Lanius?" he asked quietly.

"I did," I admitted. "Well, we all did, but I think I finished him off. Shotgun blast to the chest. I took his helmet, too. It's back in my room. I was going to put it on in the middle of the night and wake up Veronica to freak her out when we get back to Vegas."

"I suppose I owe you one, then." The legionary sighed. "Very well. If I must, I can handcuff you to the sink, get a few hours of sleep, and then leave before dawn. Someone will find you eventually. Keep in mind that if you scream for help, I will happily kill you and anyone else who enters the room."

Awesome. Just how I wanted to spend our victory party. All hail the conquering heroes.

He finally removed the knife from my throat, and I let out a deep breath. What I wasn't prepared for was his arm cinching tight around my waist, pulling me flush against him, close enough that I could feel his erection digging into my ass. "Of course, there is another option."

Hmm. The night was suddenly looking up. From what I remembered, he was pretty nice to look at, and his voice did all sorts of melty things to my groinal region. The vodka made overlooking the 'evil motherfucker' part a little easier.

"After all," he continued. "You did come in here tonight looking for something. I've had a stressful day. And I believe I once overheard you mentioning a particular fantasy to your Brotherhood friend while you were about five drinks in at the Tops theater." His voice dropped an octave. "Something about a legionary punishing you for your profligate ways?"

Note to self: never drink in public while horny, ever again. That had been a graphic amount of overshare on my part, enough to horrify even Veronica, who had some pretty crazy fantasies herself. Laser weapons were not meant to be used in that way.

"I'm afraid I have no whip or collar, although my belt could substitute for both." Well, of course he remembered the details. "And while I'm not even sure what a FISTO is, I'm fairly certain that I don't have one of those around either. And we'll have to skip the ending where you blow up the Fort with a rocket launcher. I hope that doesn't disappoint you too much."

"I think I can make do," I said, smiling and twisting around in his arms to kiss him.

Instead, he grabbed my hair and sharply yanked it to the side. "No kissing. Punishment, remember? And I suspect your body is about ninety percent alcohol at this point. It wouldn't look good for me to stumble back across the river drunk and wearing an NCR uniform."

"Maybe if you guys had a drink to relax once in a while, you'd be a lot more chill about this whole conquer-and-destroy thing. Ow!" Another hard tug on my ponytail. I briefly considered explaining the concept of a safe word, then decided to just kick him in the balls and run for it if things got out of hand.

"So how did that fantasy of yours go?" the legionary purred, stroking the hair he'd just pulled. We were face-to-face now. Not a bad face, as faces go. Had all the right parts in generally the right places. Pretty eyes, too, wasted on a Legion asshole. It's not fair that some of them look so good on the outside but were so evil on the inside. What was his name again? Vulpes Inculta, right. Should probably remember that, in case things go pear-shaped and I have to rat him out to the NCR later.

I began, "So me and Alex and Rex are out on the road and we run into one of those assassin squads we used to get all the time." I thought for a moment. "Hey, wait! Were you the one that sent all those assassins?"

"That is irrelevant at the moment." Also known as yes.

"Just so you know, they were dumb as shit," I said. "Tell them to stop trying to run up to people and explain whey they're going to kill them and just shoot their targets instead."

"Assigning a legionary to assassination squad duty was our equivalent of sending them to scout a minefield blindfolded," he admitted. "It was an excellent way to cull the weak and stupid. You were all very efficient at that. But back to your story?"

"This time they catch us by surprise. We all split up and run in different directions. Alex and Rex make it to Novac, but I get caught in the hills. So they decide to drag me off to the Fort to trap Alex, figuring that since he's such a good guy, he wouldn't leave one of his friends to die."

His hands stroked my neck. "Do you go quietly?"

"Fuck no," I laughed. "I bite and scratch and try to claw their eyes out until they wrestle me down and put a collar on me."

How he got his belt off so quickly was a mystery to me, but within seconds, I was pinned to the bed beneath him, the leather tight around my neck. Not so much I couldn't breathe, but definitely enough to feel it. "We like to put the collars on just tightly enough so that the slaves can feel it when they swallow," Inculta said, conversationally. "But for a profligate enemy such as yourself, we'd have to make it a little tighter. Just in case you forget your place." He pulled the belt one more notch. "Too much?" he whispered in my ear. So the fuckhead did at least care that I wouldn't strangle myself to death.

"Not enough," I whispered back. "I'm tougher than I look." I'd have a mark in the morning, but that's why God invented turtlenecks.

"Clearly," he said drily. "What happens when you get to the Fort?"

"They throw me into one of those tents and tie me up." Was this room always this hot? It was getting way too hot.

"Mmm. Did they strip you first?"

"They will now," I said with great conviction.

"Yes, they will." His blue eyes were boring into mine, and I noticed with some trepidation that he'd picked up the knife he'd been threatening me with earlier. "I think that they would suggest you take off all your clothing. Slowly. Or they'd have to cut it off."

_Hey, Cass, what happened to your favorite jacket? Oh, nothing, Veronica, just lost it in a creepy sex game._ "Then I suppose I would do it, because anyone who tries to cut through my leather jacket is going to lose an eye," I said, letting the threat stand.

Inculta sat back on his heels and gestured to the side of the bed. "Understood. But … slowly."

I hopped off the bed and briefly entertained the thought of running out the door. That's what Alex would want me to do. Then again, I was having fun, and a single legionary couldn't get away with shit in the middle of enemy territory. Alex wouldn't have to know about any of this. Who knows what depraved fantasies Mister Totally-Just-A-Mormon-Not-Gay-At-All was hiding himself?

I shrugged off my jacket and tossed it into the corner by the door, then unbuttoned my shirt the rest of the way and threw it by the jacket. I was glad I decided to change into my nice black bra and underwear set before kicking in this door, rather than the combat bra with the mysterious stains on it and granny panties I'd been wearing during the fight. When I started undoing my belt, he held up a finger. "Give me the belt. Then continue."

Unlacing my boots, I toed them off, then slowly unbuttoned my jeans and slid them down my thighs until they puddled on the floor. Now clad in only my bra and panties, I stepped away, crossed my arms over my chest, and smirked. "Like what you see?"

"Stunning," he said, his gaze raking up and down my body. He was sitting up now, legs hanging over the side of the bed. "But disobedient. I said all your clothing." As I went to unhook my bra, he murmured, "Leave them on for now, though. I like the lace. Now back in the tent ..."

"They'd tie my hands." I held them out in front of me.

"That they would. But behind your back, so you couldn't punch anyone. Turn around." Wondering if this was going to end up backfiring horribly, I turned around and put my hands behind my back, then felt him secure them there with my belt. "They would blindfold you too, so that you wouldn't know whether the footsteps you heard next were someone coming to rescue you or someone coming to hurt you." I recognized the bandanna I wore tucked into my belt loop, briefly, before the world went black. I blinked a few times against the fabric.

"One might almost think you'd done this before," I said sarcastically.

"Do you really want to know?" Inculta asked.

"Not in the slightest. What happens next?"

"They'll push you to your knees." I didn't even need the push. "And then they'll leave you."

"Don't you fucking dare," I snapped. He laughed, a genuine laugh that I suspected was pretty rare.

"Oh, only for a moment," he said, and I could hear the amusement. "Just long enough for you to start worrying about what was coming. But a few minutes later, you would hear someone enter."

"You?" I asked, teasingly. "Or that cute guy with the beard who asked Alex to repair his mega-gun?"

"How do you know Lucius?" He sounded surprised. "He never leaves Caesar's side."

"Arcade gave a full report on his trip to the Fort with Alex." Wow, in retrospect, taking Arcade and ED-E had been a stunningly ballsy move on Alex's part. Here's my lover and a robot, two of the things you hate most! Might as well have brought Veronica in full power armor and Boone in … well, anything, since Boone would have shot up the place. "Hotness ratings were included, after a few drinks."

"You are all degenerates. But Lucius will take it as a compliment. As he has a wife and children back in Flagstaff, I suspect he could use a little boost to his ego from time to time." Inculta paused. "I would actually like to hear more about these hotness ratings." Men. Seriously.

"They were lost somewhere around my third whiskey sour that night," I lied. "And you're changing the subject. Let's say it is you who walks in. What do you do?"

"Well, first, I'll stop to admire you," he said, voice low. "Bound and on your knees. You'll hear me, and struggle a bit. I'll have to hold you still." I felt his hand tangle in my hair as I wriggled.

"And then what will you do?" I asked. There were rustling noises in the background. He must be getting undressed. I was surprised to feel the leather belt loosen around my neck.

"I'll take off the collar. You're not a slave, after all, just a captive, meant to bait a trap for your friend." I felt his breath as he bent to whisper in my ear. "Besides, it's not like you're going anywhere. We both know you're soaking wet by now." I wasn't sure whether he was referring to reality or fantasy, but he was probably right about both. A hand slid between my thighs, teasing me through the fabric of my underwear before pulling the panties to the side. He pushed two fingers inside of me, twisting them slightly, and my breath hitched in my throat. "Just as I suspected. Truly a profligate whore. You'll have to be punished."

I pulled away. "Wait a minute. Sexy punishment or nailed to a cross punishment?"

"Sexy punishment. I left all my nails and lumber back in Cottonwood Cove." Was that an actual joke? I thought their senses of humor were surgically removed when they joined the Legion. "But I get ahead of myself. First I would have a more immediate need to satisfy."

"Would you tell me to open my mouth and suck you?" I said, shifting slightly.

"Maybe," he drawled. "Would you, if I ordered you to?"

"Hell no," I said, breaking into a grin. "You're just Legion scum, after all. I'll tell you to go fuck yourself with a cactus."

"And after you say that, I'll ask you if you'd prefer I do that to you, instead," Inculta said, voice smooth as butter. This should not be turning you on, Cass. Your brain is seriously broken.

"Well, in that case, I suppose I have no choice," I said, licking my lips.

He bent down again to whisper in my ear. "You do want this, right?"

I was tempted to snark back about when legionaries started caring about things like that, but he might get pissed and leave me here, and damn it, I was way too into this for that to happen. "If I didn't, I'd have snapped that belt, knocked you on your ass, and ran out the doorway to Moore by now. I already killed one of your leaders today, and I'd have no qualms about taking down another if you stepped over the line and hurt me. So shut up and play along, jackass. You're killing the mood."

His finger traced along my lips, slowly, playfully. "Well, when you put it that way … open wide, profligate."

Mmm. He tasted nice and clean. Must have showered after the battle. It was a welcome change from the NCR guys I'd been with, half of whom needed remedial instructions about how to handle their own junk. I ran my tongue over the head, giving a little extra attention to that special spot on the underside that men seemed to like so much. An answering groan told me that he was no different in that respect. But, I realized as I slid more of him into my mouth, he was definitely exceptional in another. I pulled my head back. "Um. Problem."

"Too much?" he chuckled. Clearly this had been an issue in the past. Maybe that was the reason for the blindfold.

"Just a little." I admitted sheepishly.

"Don't worry. You set the pace." I decided to go for quality over quantity, and gave the head and the upper part of his shaft a good seeing-to with my tongue and lips. His hand came to rest on my head, but instead of jerking me forward, he just stroked my hair. "Good girl." That pissed me off a little – I wasn't one of their mongrels – but at 37, I hadn't been called a girl in a long time, much less a good one. I'll take it as a compliment.

"If we're back in the tent, I might have you do this for a while," Inculta said. "I do enjoy a woman on her knees." I applied a bit of gentle suction, and he groaned. Removing him from my mouth, I planted kisses down the side of his shaft. "But not for too long. I believe I owe you a punishment for trying to take pleasure that wasn't meant for you." His hand tightened in my hair. "And for working with the _fucking_ NCR to defeat us here today."

Uh-oh. This may have just crossed the line into something that will end with me getting into serious trouble. That last statement sounded a little too true, and a lot too angry. Despite what I'd said before, I wasn't so sure I could get my hands out of the belt. A quick test showed that I was right. Damn, that thing was secure. He grabbed me by the shoulders and hauled me to a standing position, then roughly tossed me face-down on the bed.

He must have seen me tense up, because the next thing I felt was him rubbing my lower back, gently. "Relax. I won't hurt you." I willed myself to stop shaking, and had almost succeeded when he slapped me, hard, on the ass. "Much."

I yelped, but then leaned back into him as he rubbed the stinging cheek. Spanking? Heh. Cute that he thought that was punishment. "I think we can do an even dozen. Were this the Fort, of course, I would use my belt, or a flogger. But the NCR rangers might get a little suspicious if they saw blood on the mattress and start looking into who occupied this room tonight, and we couldn't have that, could we?" He swatted me again, harder, and I bit back a cry.

"There are a lot of things I would do in your little fantasy that you wouldn't find so enjoyable," he continued in a pleasant tone, pausing to hit me once more. "Or maybe you would. It's hard to tell with you degenerates. I'd advise you not to scream, because if you draw the NCR in here, you might just get to find out how you feel about those things." Was that a goddamn _threat?_

"You're almost over the line, Legion boy," I hissed, but kept my mouth shut as I counted the strikes. I'd never realized a simple spanking could sting like this.

"Good girl," he said, and I could hear the menace this time. He rubbed the welts, then slid his fingers lower. "Over the line, was it? You're practically dripping. I can see how much that idea repulses you. Think of that the next time you have some silly daydream about manipulating the Legion."

Well, what do you know. It turns out I could snap the belt, if I was pissed off enough. I ripped off the blindfold and got to my feet, glaring at him.

I could run. I should run. But that last part had made me angry, and I wasn't one to let some asshole like that get the last word.

"Are we still doing the fantasy thing, or just threatening each other now?" I hissed. "Because I think you might like to hear the final part of mine." I strode up to him and pushed him onto his back, on the bed.

"And what does that entail?" he asked, eyes sparkling.

"That's the part where I turn the tables and fuck you into working for the side of truth and goodness," I said smugly, wriggling out of my panties.

"Do you really think the NCR stands for truth and goodness?" Christ, was this some sort of automatic response with these guys? Do they have to do a certain amount of 'let's turn everything into a Legion recruitment speech' practice every morning? "The amount of corruption and degeneracy in Shady Sands would shock even a -"

"Oh my God," I snapped, straddling him. "Shut the fuck up about politics, for the love of all that is holy, or I am going to stab you in the face."

"So you'd make me submit?" he asked, smirking. "I'd like to see you try."

"Hell yeah, I would," I answered. "I'd snap the ropes like I did that belt, and then I'd tie your arms to the bed before you could think twice. You'd be at my mercy."

"Would I, now?" Inculta placed his hands against the headboard in mock surrender. "And then what would you do?"

"This." I trailed my tongue from his navel up to his chest, admiring his many scars, and grazed my teeth across his neck. He shivered, and I felt him stiffen further against me. "Aw, does the big scary legionary have a sensitive spot?" I sucked at the side of his neck until I felt his arms move, trying to pull me closer. Rearing back, I grabbed his wrists and pinned them to the headboard, holding them until I was sure he got the message. When I released them, he folded his hands behind his head, staring at me with a curious expression.

"Good boy. Stay, or you won't get a treat." I slid off the bed and retrieved my vodka bottle from the floor, taking a long swig before climbing back up to straddle him.

"Was that entirely necessary?"

"Do you want me to sober up enough to realize what a terrible idea all this was?" I snapped back. "Besides, I need to do this, which is entirely necessary." I upended the remaining vodka and poured it over what I'd just realized was a gunshot wound to his thigh. He hissed out a string of profanities, half in Latin, but managed to keep his hands behind his head.

"I don't know why I'm keeping your dumb ass from losing your leg, but you should be grateful," I said, moving up to kneel over his head. "Why don't you show me some gratitude?"

I'd expected an argument, some sort of stupid bullshit doctrine about a woman not being superior to a man, but instead he reached out and pulled me down onto his face. Oh, yeah. He must have some practice at this. Within minutes I was squirming, his mouth hot against my clit as he stretched me with two, then three fingers. I briefly considered jumping off the bed and smacking him for moving his hands without permission, but … eh, rules were made to be broken. Especially since I was the one benefiting from breaking this rule. Nice to see that he could use his tongue for something other than talking people into joining the dark side.

He twisted his fingers just right and my legs started to shake. I was almost at the edge when he grabbed my thighs and pushed me off, hard. I landed on my back on the bed and glared at him.

"Oh, dick move, Inculta!" I yelled, then clapped my hand over my mouth when I realized I'd called his real name loud enough for anyone in the hallway to hear. We waited in silence for a minute, then figured that no one was about to bust down the door. "That's fighting dirty," I hissed.

He smirked. "Oh, I'm sorry. I saw your legs shaking and figured you were about to lose your balance due to the truly heroic amount of vodka you've consumed tonight, so I grabbed you to keep you from falling." The smirk turned into an evil grin. "Now who's 'just about over the line', profligate?"

"Hmm. Maybe I should just ask you to handcuff me to the sink, like in your original plan, and leave you in your cold, lonely bed of failure. I'm sure you'll get a really nice nap and not be woken up repeatedly by someone kicking the pipes and singing 'The Hedgehog Can Never Be Buggered At All' while you reconsider all of the actions that led to you losing a war today."

His eyes sparkled. "Oh, if I were to handcuff you to anything now, I'd find ways to entertain myself other than sleeping."

"Try it," I challenged, because why the hell not? It didn't surprise me that the handcuffs had been under his damn pillow the whole time – why hadn't I thought of looking there when I'd had him on his back? – nor that he was able to pin me back and cuff me to the shabby metal frame of the bunk. I was a little more cautious after his threat earlier, and while I couldn't snap the cuffs like I did the belt, the bed frame would come apart with one well-aimed kick. I still had an escape route. Not that I really wanted to escape at the moment.

"There we go," he purred, looming over me. "I like you better when you're struggling." Melty voice plus dirty talk equals one very frustrated Cass. Deprived of the use of my hands, I wrapped my legs around his hips and tried to pull him towards me.

"I thought your fantasy involved me changing my wicked ways," Inculta said, smirking. "Generally, people working for the side of _truth and goodness_ aren't interested in handcuffing girls to their beds and fucking them into the mattress."

"Eh. Good is overrated anyway," I breathed. "Evil is much sexier."

His lips ghosted over mine. "Do you really think I'm evil?"

"No, I'm sure all those tire fires and people nailed to crosses and slave collars are just pieces of performance art," I sighed, rolling my eyes. "Yep, you're evil. I would almost say very evil. But you're also very hot, although that may be the alcohol talking, so can we hold off on the morality argument until after we fuck? Unless you're all talk and no action, in which case I might as well just yell for the guards and see if one of them is willing to take advantage of poor little old Rose of Sha –"

My breath caught in my throat as he eased into me, holding one hand over my mouth. Sheesh, dude, just kidding. Like you wouldn't just use me as a hostage if any guards came in anyway. Felt nice, though, being able to lie back and let someone else do all the work. When he was fully seated, I bit at his hand until he removed it.

"Lighten the fuck up, Legion boy," I snapped. "If I was going to call in the troops, don't you think I would have done it earlier? We're in a pretty compromising position here."

"You can never be too careful when fraternizing with the enemy," Inculta responded, beginning to move slowly.

He might have been a slaving, murdering asshole, but damn if the guy didn't have some skills in the sack. Every thrust was measured, every roll of the hips calculated, and he made sure to grind against me a little on every downstroke. Too bad I couldn't collar him and keep him as a pet. Alex would probably object to that. Such a shame.

I hate to admit it, but I whined a little when he changed his angle, leaning back a bit. With my hands tied, I was depending on him to get me off, and while the deep thrusts felt incredible, they weren't going to bring me to the edge without a little help.

After a few torturous minutes, I said, "Hey. Touch me."

"Clitoral orgasms are for the weak and degenerate." Oh, you have got to be kidding.

"Are you fucking with me?" I scrutinized him, and saw a gleam in his eye and a twitch at the corner of his mouth. "You _are_ fucking with me!"

"Maybe a little," he admitted, breaking into a grin and reaching down between us.

"Asshole," I accused, but within a minute I was moaning and tightening around him. He didn't stop thrusting as I came. Fucking fantastic feeling. As I relaxed into the mattress and panted, Inculta reached up to unlock the cuffs. I let out a yelp of surprised as he rolled us.

"Damn legionaries," I grumbled lightly, grabbing onto the headboard and easing myself down onto him again. "Making the women do all the tough work."

"Can you not appreciate that I have had a _long_ day?" Inculta groused. "I was on the losing side of a war, I was shot in the leg, and I was nice enough to let you come first, woman. Give me a break."

"My heart bleeds for you." I trailed my fingers down his chest with my free hand. "I suppose I could be generous. 'Cause if the situations were reversed and you'd kicked down my door tonight, I probably would have just shot you."

"You'd have been an idiot not to. Mmm. Keep moving like that."

I rode him for a while while he touched, then kissed my breasts. Eventually, he put his hands on my hips and moved me backwards slightly. "Pleasure yourself," he ordered.

"Ask nicely," I said, smugly.

"Please," Inculta said, sounding strained. Good to see he was human after all. I smirked at him, then rubbed my clit with one hand while steadying myself with the other hand on his chest. He watched with hooded eyes, biting his lip, as I slowly moved on top of him. After a few minutes, I bucked forward until we were chest to chest, then nipped below his ear until he let out a strangled gasp and grabbed my hips, thrusting upwards. I ground down into him, my hand still between us, as he started a fast pace. A few moments later, I keened in ecstasy, and he followed shortly afterward. I rested my head against him while we both caught our breath.

After a few beats, Inculta said, "That was adequate, woman."

"Adequate? Pssh." I snorted, rolling off him and making as if I was going to leave. "Such a flatterer." I had barely put my feet on the floor when he grabbed me, pulling me into him just like at the beginning of the night. He tightened his arm around my waist, and I was surprised when I felt his head nestle in the crook of my neck. Were we cuddling or some shit?

"Stay like this, or I can tie your hands to the bed again," he said sleepily. "Either way, you're not going anywhere until I leave. I still don't trust you not to run off to the NCR dogs and try to sell me out for a few caps."

"Yeah, screw you too," I replied. I should have been pissed off. But having a warm body next to me felt nice, and it had been a hell of a long day. So I placed my hand on top of his and drifted off to sleep.

In the morning, we fucked again, in the same position that we had been sleeping, nice and slow. I figured I was already going to hell for this, so I might as well go in whole hog. Afterward, he dressed in the NCR uniform while I lounged in the bed, planning on catching a few more hours of rest before leaving to find Alex and figure out what we were going to do next.

"So, uh, thanks for not killing me, I guess," I said.

"My pleasure," he responded crisply. "Perhaps we'll meet again. Did you say you were going to California?"

"Probably. I was planning on restarting my caravan company. And no offense, but I was sort of hoping to never lay eyes on the Legion again."

"You never know. Taverns are such a useful place to gather information. And I do have some fantasies of my own I'd like to try out." His voice lowered, and he continued. "I've heard there is a savage tribe of women to the north, across the great plains. They raid settlements and capture the men to breed with. But not before subjecting them to horrible, sensual torments first."

I smiled. "You'd fight back, naturally."

"Naturally."

Hell, maybe I could change his wicked ways. Or maybe I'd report him to the NCR authorities if I ever saw him in California. We'd have to see. "Adios, Legion fuckhead," I said.

Inculta was already at the door. "See you later, profligate whore," he responded, almost fondly.


End file.
